The Hidden Challenge of Receiving Help
What if accepting support deepened your connections?
Last week, I had an experience that seemed small on the surface but cracked open something deeper for me.
I was on a plane with my phone battery at 14%, knowing I had a stopover coming up and really wanting to charge it. But the charger at my seat wasn’t working.
The man sitting next to me noticed and asked, “Would you like me to charge your phone?”
My immediate response? “No, I’m good.”
Then, a second later, I caught myself. Wait—I do want my phone charged. So I changed my mind and asked him if he would. He happily agreed, and it turned out his charger could charge both of our phones at once. A total win-win.
At first, I brushed it off as just an everyday moment. But later, I asked myself: Why was my first instinct to say no?
The Deep-Rooted Instinct to Refuse Help
The answer? A lifetime of self-reliance.
I come from a lineage of fiercely independent women. My grandmother was a midwife in Poland during WWII, risking everything to deliver babies past curfew. My mother moved to the U.S. without knowing English and built a successful career as a physician.
I was raised to believe that strength meant doing it all myself.
But when I looked at it more closely, I saw something deeper: Saying no wasn’t just about independence—it was about protection. If I never needed help, I could never be let down. If I could do it all myself, I’d never be vulnerable.
And beyond that, part of my hesitation wasn’t just independence—it was the fear of imposing. Somewhere along the way, I learned to believe that needing something might be a burden. That asking for or accepting help could inconvenience someone else.
But why did I assume that my need was a problem rather than an opportunity for connection?
The Power of Receiving
The truth is, people want to help. That man on the plane was happy to lend a hand. And in that moment, my ability to receive turned a frustrating situation into an easy solution.
So here’s my question for you:
Where in your life are you resisting help? And what might change if you let yourself receive?
💡 Journaling Prompt: Think about a time when you resisted receiving support—big or small. What stopped you? How would it feel to allow yourself to be helped?
🎯 Mini Challenge: Let someone help you this week. Say yes to an offer of support, even if it feels uncomfortable. Notice how it feels to receive, rather than always giving.
Being seen isn’t just about standing in your light—it’s about letting others hold it with you.
With love,
Monica
Monica Stevanovic